Live happily challenge…. 1 year (May 20^th 2014- May 20^th 2015)

After living in a different country for 5 months, a close friends death, and a long-term relationship break up all in my 20^th year on this earth it’s been rough and challenging year. I guess what I’ve learned is life is always going to be that way. The only thing that you can control is yourself and how you go through life. Thinking ahead to what I want in life all I can think of is happiness, yet for the things I don’t want.. the list is very long.. In this next year I’m going to vow to make some changes in my life. I am doing this for my spiritual self to get in closer relationship with my creator and to really get in touch with my inner self to control my emotions so I can better handle situations in the future within my personal and career goals.

I will be turning 21 next week and I think this is about the right time that I really need to focus and concentrate on being an individual and driven towards what I want in life, which is right now, just happiness. Within the next year I will be graduating from college and going into the “real world”, so this time I take is something that I feel I will cherish the rest of my life. The time I took to really be okay with being alone, single, and really paying it forward to my community, friends, and god. I am incredibly blessed to be where I am at today and I want to be able to give all my appreciation back one day to all who supported me throughout my life. I will be keeping this blog as sort of a public diary as I start on the journey away from things that make me less happy in my life.

Things I am going change:

-Discontinue, disconnect, and deactivate all social media

            As most of my friends know.. I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOCIAL MEDIA. I am doing this because I find myself looking for recognition or gratification in whatever I am doing through social media. Things like posting a picture because I think its cool, so lets see if anybody does, or if anybody else appreciates what I’m doing. I realize I have a problem with social media because it’s no longer social to me. It’s just me behind a screen seeing how many likes I can get and getting the recognition I think I deserve. I also realize that most other people do not have this problem and social media works well for them to stay caught up friends, but that is not me. I’m learning to know that my own recognition if enough for me to be stratified.

-Practice mindfulness once a day for at least 3min

            Mindfulness is something that I have learned through my social work program at GVSU and I think it is a good practice to involve myself in. Mindfulness is taking a step back and really understand how your feeling and thinking at that time and space. Really, mindfulness is what you make it, one could close their eyes and think of nothing at all to relax or start in prayer. Its just taking a step back from life to really take notice of yourself.. if that makes since. There are lots of mindfulness exercises online if anyone wants to try! I’m learning that once you take a step back the problems that seem very large at the time may not be in the long run.. it just takes time and a step back to realize it.

-Do not participate or condone in putting people down (Including myself)

            I’ve been noticing this more and more about myself when I’m meeting new people and I’m with a group most of the time “girl talk” will start and the put downs will flow about the other people that surround us. I almost all of the time also join in on these talks to be apart of the conversation, and I have also been the one to start these conversations. I just need to get this habit under control, I mean really Ally.. were not in middle school anymore. I will learn from this that everybody is their own judge and you really never know what else could be happening in anybody else’s life behind closed doors. I want to learn from this that putting people down may give me and who ever else I’m taking with.. something to talk about.. but in reality its helping nobody and it’s a bad habit. Also side note- I will attempt to not put down myself as much too.

-Truly find the peace and happiness where I am at in my life

            Always striving for more and looking ahead to new and different things, but always regretting that I didn’t enjoy the moment I was in at that second. I will never be here again.. laying in my bed with my candles lit and a warm summer night in Allendale. Right now my life is hectic but there is a lot of things I subside my happiness for. I’m taking 3 summer classes and working.. I’m busy but I need to always find time to appreciate the moment. This also goes into my mindfulness exercises. I want to learn from this that you never know when your life will be taken from you, or your loved ones so I need to appreciate everything day by day even if it’s the worst days of my life.

Note to self on where you are starting out: You are broken and still trying to get back to the point where you are happy on a daily basis. People have hurt you in the past, but don’t let that affect your future. You are strong because the friends that surround you make you that way. Explore and never forget how to make yourself happy first. You have worked hard, but you can work a lot harder. God is with you and knows that this is the right thing for you.

Goodness can follow a broken heart like yours.