Uncomfortable

Studying abroad can be a very uncomfortable experience. You have everyone telling you before you leave that this is going to be a life changing experience…. but at the time I was thinking, how can this really change my life? Will I actually change the way I have always been when living in the states. Anyway that is the way that I thought about it. As I have been away for 3 months now, I see it in a totally different way.

I have to find things for myself, I have become a lot more self reliant. I felt like I always had friends to go to at home when I was feeling down and they would have something to cheer me up, or of course just go hangout with the boyfriend and I would forget about what I was even sad about. I now feel as if I have to force myself to do things that make me happy. Like to workout, bake, or take pictures because I don’t have friends here that exactly have the same interests as me, where as at home I do.

God has done some weird things over here. Again in my community at home I have a group of friends that I go to church with, people that have the same beliefs as I do. Here I go to church alone, and everyone talks of Christians as being something weird and not heard of. Again, it is just a lot different community here than at home. Uncomfortable

You see your country different you respect and cherish what you have at home. A big thing that I have figured out is that no matter where I am in this world absolutely nothing can compare to my family, friends, and boyfriend that I have at home. I have an amazing community around me at home and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I have fallen in love with Grand Valley all over again. Experiencing a bigger school here with bigger classes is what I found out I actually hate. I love the small classes and the close contact you have with your teachers AND at Grand Valley we never have teachers aids teaching, it’s always an actual professor. Its kind of like I got to transfer to another university for a semester.. but its not called transferring its called studying abroad.

My best friend here and roommate here, her name is Camilla she ended up having to move out this last weekend. This is kind-of a bump in the road, because I spent a lot of time with her, going to the gym, eating, and hanging out at home. I will miss her and our house will not be the same without her.

I don’t think I would have realized what I have so far if I had not gotten out of the US. It is so interesting in my classes when we talk about USA and how our government, politics, and television is different from what they have here in Australia. I often find myself shy because of the fact that I am American. In Australia they talk of the US as something that has survived the wars and have strived every since. They talk about city’s I’ve never been to, laws I never knew existed, and that most people out of the US think that there is two types of Americans. (thank god I get labeled the nice one)

I just wonder if I am putting too much pressure on coming home. I think about it everyday. I think about the joy I will have seeing all my friends, boyfriend and family again. I don’t think I looked forward to something so much before. Yes you would have thought I would have been looking forward to coming here more than going home.. I was excited to come here don’t get me wrong but, I was coming into the unexpected. I had no idea who my roommates where, how my day-to-day life was going to be like these next 4 and a half months. Going home is the exact opposite and that’s why I think I’m looking forward to it so much. I know what I have at home and I know what my day-to-day is going to be like (hopefully). I just don’t want to put myself in a position where I am just glorifying the day that I am coming home that I get preoccupied and don’t enjoy every last second I have here.

All I can end with is that I know where my home is.